Who Told You That? Breaking Out of the Mold God Never Put You In

Jade and Courtney unpack the question God asked Adam in the garden — "Who told you that?" — and trace how shame, bullying, past relationships, and self-talk like "I'll never" quietly become identities we never chose. Using Moses, Gideon, Jeremiah, and Paul as examples of people who defined themselves by their limitations, they walk through letting go of labels and relearning how God actually sees you.

Welcome back to another episode of the beauty in burnt toast. Today we are talking breaking the mold that God never put you in. Who told you that? I made a post on Facebook. I guess at this point it would probably be a few weeks ago.

Um, just talking about how I had this realization and I've been thinking a lot about where God has led me and I never saw myself being here. But I think I had just put myself in this mold that I was never meant to be in. I was raised Baptist starting off.

I know we've talked about this. as we talked about denominations.

Um, and then going into our new church, it just really uh stretched me a lot and I just never thought I would be in a place where I would number one be talking to you like this, number two be at the front praying for people because that was way out of my comfort zone.

Um, but yeah, it's just been something that has really been on my heart. So, in the beginning in Genesis, the Lord said to Adam, "Who told you that you were naked?" The first thing sin affected wasn't Adam's location. It was his identity.

Before Adam ever hid from God physically, he believed something new about himself. God wasn't asking for information. He was exposing the voice Adam had begun believing.

So that's really what I want to get into is the voice in our head that is totally from the enemy that you can't do something, you're not capable. Alex's episode at this point would have been last week. Mhm.

The Voice You Start to Believe

Um and we had even discussed that a little bit that she is not that person anymore. Like her identity is not addiction. Yeah. Her identity is who she is now because the Lord forgives and he lets go of those things.

I think there's just a lot of shame that the enemy puts in our head. And I think God asked, "Who told you that you were naked?" Not because he didn't know who that idea came from, but it because that he knew that they had been hearing shame.

They've been hearing lies from the enemy and have gotten scared and believed it. So, yeah. So, do not think I'm crazy, but I I just want to hit on this real quick. So, in posting that social media post, I usually have dreams. I have not had a dream in a very long time.

And I always pray for that for the Lord to reveal things to me. So, last night I had a dream, very strange. My dreams are always very strange, but very vivid. So, I woke up and I was like, I need to remember this because this has significance.

Um, and then I just started thinking about and and kind of throw in what had happened in chat and playing with ideas on what it could be talking about.

And it's talking about things that you haven't dealt with that could still be there from past relationships that God was asking you to let go of and that he could be moving you into this new identity.

And you know when things just click, I started reading that and it's funny because I had literally just been talking about breaking this mold. And I think that's what that dream was representing for me was breaking out of this past thing that I had put on myself.

So dreams can be crazy, but I think they always have meaning and it's very interesting. So, I would say that where I am in life today, I would have no idea.

Like, if I was in high school and you told me that I would be in Alabama doing a podcast with, you know, a great person, I I would not believe it. Like, I'm very blessed. I very much so am.

Um, and being involved with a church, a new church, you know, that I'm not going to anymore back in Atlanta. Like there's just so many things that have just changed within a year, two years. Um, but a lot of that has molded me into who I am today.

Friendships, relationships, family, lifestyle changes, culture changes. There's just a lot there where I think throughout life your molding changes. But the enemy will still consistently try to attack you with shame, guilt, always remind you of your past.

And for me, breaking out of that has been something I have to actively chase after, like pursue it.

Instead of just saying I'm going to, I actually have to take the initiative to whether that's daily self-affirmations in the mirror, I have to do something to where I'm not sitting in it and believing it.

And that's something that has been a struggle recently is like I have a certain perception on how I look and you know Josh will tell me the opposite of what I feel and he's like this is what God says about you. You need to look in the mirror and say it.

The Potter and the Kiln

And I'm like oh that's uncomfortable. But God, Jesus is the potter, you know, and we're his clay. And so he molds us to be unique and to be formed in a different light. Yeah.

And so I think that that's just something that is so important about acknowledging that there are things that need to break away. Um like even with pottery, what is it that they go into a furnace? I don't know the terminology for it, but the the clay needs to the kiln.

The pottery needs to go into the kiln um for it to be polished and shiny, whatever it is. Taylor would know this. Yeah, right. I need to take a pottery class. But there's pressure, there's heat, you have to go through something to become the solid. Yeah.

So, I don't know if that worked what I just said, but the kiln is important. Well, you just when I was thinking about all of this and taking it in, I'm like, you just don't realize how things can affect you and stick with you. Yeah.

like even verbal things because there's so much in my past like I don't think about these things but the realization is hitting me that they've been with me for the past 15 or 16 years and it's like when this hit me I'm just like whoa like I I feel like I've been in a fog and I'm coming out of the fog and I'm realizing more about what God is doing.

Yeah. And what I have been blocking myself from. Yeah. And it kind of sucks. But um there are so many things in the Bible where people are just struggling with how they see themselves instead of how God sees them.

Shame vs. God's Voice

So when he said, "Who told you that?" When God said that to Adam, God never called Adam ashamed. He never called Adam inadequate. He never called Adam broken beyond redemption. Yet Adam immediately saw himself differently.

Before Satan changes your behavior, he'll often try to change what you believe about yourself. Have you ever believed something about yourself that looking back you didn't know? Wait, you know, didn't come from God? Yeah. I just I think why me a lot?

Do I Have Enough of a Story to Share?

Because and I know I say this a lot, but sitting here with the people on this couch like that is not my story. I was raised in church. I mean, I've been through some stuff, but I have not been through half of what most of these ladies have been through. Yeah. But I have a Yes.

And I might be a little bit bold bolder than than most. Maybe I do have that. But I am just the person that is willing to seek these people out so that they can share in order to reach other people. I might not have this indepth story, but I have the Yes.

to be able to bring these people on and let them share their stories. Yeah. And I've got to just get out of that mindset that I'm not worthy of being able to see her do this. I think for me it's it's kind of similar.

I think every person that walks with God calls at times whether that's in sin or I mean really in sin um or just stumbles in their faith.

And so I think for me it's really hard being a jinzee, a younger woman who has taken a lot of milestones early in her life that I think a lot of people would wait on.

And honestly, I feel like God has led me to this exact moment to where I have been through so many obstacles now that if I share my testimony, it can help somebody. And it also helps me to understand the person in that seat because of what I've gone through at such a young age.

And so looking back, I mean, I could be I used to be why me all day about my trauma of why did I have to go through this? I didn't deserve this. Why would a God that is so perfect and good hurt her hurt his daughter?

But I realized it wasn't necessarily something God chose to give me. He might have said she needs to go through this or granted it through the enemy, but it was more so standing firm in my relationship throughout all of that to get to this point.

Um, I think that molds you for sure. Um, you know, and I think throughout all of that, I kind of was like, Adam, I I can't speak for him, but hearing, you know, who told you that or how'd you know you were naked? There's that shame of like, oh, he's judging me.

Oh, I need to hide. I don't feel worthy enough.

And I think that was just it still is a lot of my walk with God is, you know, how can I do this, but then I also have my own sin that I'm not sharing with the world or I have my own faults that I'm not perfect enough to be able to share this. And that is a lie from the enemy.

It is. We should be able to share. I mean, I'm not saying everyone needs to share all their business of what they fell in, but I do think it is very important to share your testimony and how God's working on you actively.

Stop Questioning What You're Capable Of

I think we just need to stop questioning what we are I think we need to stop questioning what we are capable of and let God handle it. Shoot, I'm talking to myself. Yeah, it just my mine is I need to stop dimming his craft, which is me.

Because there are times where I say, "I'm too broken." Yeah. I'm not enough. I will body dysmorphia myself to the bottom of the lake. Like, I'm not pretty enough. I'm too fat. I'm this. I wish I was skinnier. Um, and none of that is coming from like Yeah. Yes. my fiance.

So, you know, it's it's all up here and it's all from the enemy. And it's also I mean, social media completely plays a part in that too. But the enemy tells me that like God could use somebody else. I will not never know my purpose. I am too young for a bunch of different things.

I can't imagine that I would be talking to people in a podcast. I I shouldn't do that. Like he just plays in my face and there has been so many times where I just I have to be like, "No, we're not." Yeah. You go in the kiln by yourself.

Moses, Gideon, Jeremiah, and Paul

Scripture is full of so many people trying to define themselves by their limitations. Moses, Exodus 3:11, who am I? Exodus 4:10-12, "I'm not eloquent." God responds, "Now go, I will help you." God didn't need Moses to become confident before he called him.

And I don't think that's ever going to happen. Like even sitting here with Alex, she wasn't ready for this, but she was obedient to what God was calling her to do. And now she's done it. And I guarantee you, she'll do it again. You're gonna do it again. Never say never. Yes.

Never say never. But I mean, she she was nervous, but it was it was so good. And she did such a great job. So, if you give him your yes and your obedience, he will use you and he will give you the words. We've got to stop worrying. I I am so tired.

I don't know why I was so nervous and so afraid for so long. Like I look back now and I'm like, where could I be now if I would have taken a hold of that sooner? Like it makes me sick to my stomach. Yeah.

Continuing Gideon in Judges 6:12, "The Lord is with you, mighty warrior." In 6:15, he said, "I'm the least." God spoke to Gideon according to who he would become, not who he believed he was. Yeah. We have no idea what's in our future. God knows.

And that's why we need to trust him. Yeah. Jeremiah said, "I am too young." That's my point. God says, "Do not say, I am too young." Sometimes the first thing God changes isn't our circumstances. It's our confession. Hold me, Ryan. Paul, he is my chosen instrument.

Everyone else saw Saul's past. God saw Hall's purpose. That was a little bit of a tongue twister. Which of these stories do you relate to the most? I think that's kind of obvious. I'm too young.

No, I mean there's been a lot of I am a very, you know what, I can do it mindset or a just watch. Mhm. I am impulsive. I'm working on it. But a lot of it is I'm too young for this. I Or it's quite the opposite. I've been through so much just I feel like I'm 40 already.

Like uh let me chill. Let me retire in like 10 years. I'm good. But um there's just a lot where I I either feel like being 22 I'm not prepared or I feel like because of all I've gone through I'm overprepared but I don't feel the calling for it and that's irritating. Yeah.

Um what story did you relate to the most? H I don't I just I relate to the fact that I think God sees more in me than I see in myself. Like I don't know what's ahead. I don't know exactly what my purpose is, but he does. And I'm not the most eloquent speaker.

Like I am not practiced in this. Like I have not been prepared for this. I have been thrust into this and I just did it flying by the seat of my pants. Sometimes that's the best way to do it. Sometimes you just got to rip the band-aid off and like I said, let him handle it.

The Trap of "I'll Never" and "I Always"

But sometimes the biggest prison isn't sin. It's agreement. we begin repeating things like I'll never. Let's just touch on that. Do not say I'll never because if you say that, God is going to laugh so hard and put you straight into I'll never watch this then. Yes.

Because I said I would never date anybody younger than me. My husband is younger than me. I said I would never live close to home. I went away for a while, but where am I at? Right back here. I said I would never leave Georgia. Yep. Yeah.

I probably said somewhere along the way, I'll never be a person that stands up and speaks in front of people, too. But you know, here I am. One thing I think is the just the I'll never, I'm always, I'm just, I can't.

I will say one thing I am taking from this that relates to me being a kid when I was first diagnosed with ADHD, the I think one of the first ways my parents or at least my dad, he would always catch me do it is I would say I'm always it's like I was so emotionally overexaggerated.

That's not the right o overexaggerative. No, I overexaggerated a lot emotionally. There we go. And I would say you always do this. I never do that. You are always talking to me like that. You know what I mean?

So, it was the it was I don't I don't want to say it again cuz I got it wrong, but I used to talk like that so much and I've had to catch myself because it does embed in you when you say you always yell at me when we talk about this. That's not factual. No, I don't.

But emotionally I was just so open that I just thought that that was the right thing to say. And so he you know he talked to me and he's like why you know why why do you say always and never and it it can invalidate somebody.

And so that is very important in a relationship and to yourself which is also a relationship to not to watch yourself when you say always and never because you'll start to believe it and I can't. Mhm. That's a big one.

I hate it when my kids say that because you you can never say never.

Um, but I just think that that's really important to watch how you repeat and especially if you have like a you're very emotional person or you got high stress, high anxiety, whatever ADHD, you're going to be more express, at least with ADHD, you're more ex exagger, you know, expressive.

I'm not going to say that word again. I'm done. But just watch out for that. What labels have you had to let go of? I mean, I had I believed a lot of labels. Um, I got bullied a good amount in middle and high school.

Labels I Had to Let Go Of

Um, and it was always about my skin, which is it really makes no sense, but I which I have a I have a tan on right now, but um I was too pale, so they called me Casper. I got told I had a five head. I I am proud to have a five head. Actually, we are. Have you been told that?

We say that about our family. Yeah, we're the five head family because it's true. I'm going to recede by 30. That really messed me up. I don't know if I've told you this before.

So, I sorry I'm totally stealing what you were going into, but I got made fun of and it really stuck with me and I worked in a department store and one day I just decided to wear my hair all the way back and this guy came up to me and he was like, "You look so beautiful with your hair like that." And his name's Gary.

If you ever listen to this, I will never forget that. I cannot tell you what that meant to me. I cannot tell you what that meant to me. It just it's amazing what as kids can really Yeah. If you called me a five head, I hope you're listening to this right now.

I proudly call myself a five head because I I definitely had a big forehead and I brushed that one off. But the the skin one, that one really got to me. I I got called like a ghost. Casper. I mean, people would like boo at me. It was sad. Vampire.

Like, look, I was a very I'm a red I'm a redhead. was ginger everything in there. Yeah, I'm Irish. Back off. I I don't tan. I freckle. So, that really stuck with me. And I bullied myself into believing that I my skin wasn't good. It wasn't pretty.

I had a lot of skin infections where I had to go to the doctor, whether it was to get it, you know, treated or lanced. Like, I am I was just very sensitive skinned. My acne was bad.

So that one comment made me um perceive myself for the whole rest of high school differently and I did not I mean I was very insecure about it. Now I love it. I mean I still fake tan cuz why not? It's summer.

But I love having you know red hair with blue eyes and very pale skin and it makes you unique. Yeah. You're a unicorn. Yeah. Right.

And you know, that was one I had to let go of to see like, you know what, they probably meant it for bad, but like I'm going to I'm going to internalize that as they liked me, you know, whatever. But I'd say that one.

From Victim to Victor

I mean, there's a lot of other ones like I used to believe that I was genuinely like when I went through a really bad relationship, I called myself a victim. I was like, I'm the victim of this. I'm the And I like victimized myself.

And I don't remember where I heard it, but it was like I don't even know if it was Rocky, but he's got some good quotes from the Rocky movie. Um, but like be coming going from victim to victor is very important. My therapist also talked with me about that.

So I had to let go of that idea that I was just some stranded emotionless girl that no one wanted to help. like I had to get myself off the ground. Your past does not define you. What other people say about you does not define you.

And I think we have to sit with ourselves because I've been asked before, you know, in therapy like, "What in your past has caused these things?" And nine times out of 10, like I can't come up with anything. Like I had a good childhood, but that's like with this dream.

Like I realized what I went through in this past relationship and a lot of it there was a lot of verbal abuse I carried with me. Yeah. And I had never really thought about it. Like I never thought that this would have stuck with me for the past 15, 16 years.

But then I realize I finally feel like I'm letting go of all these past things and breaking this mold that I put myself in. Yeah. I I still am I have forgiven. There's difference. But you know the term forgiven don't forget.

I mean it can be true to an extent unless the trauma completely washes it out. But there's some things in my past where it's like oh I've forgiven them. But like it will pop in my head and mess with me still because part of my protective self was molded by that. So now it's okay.

How can I protect myself but not make that my shield? Yeah. Going into the next question, is there something you used to believe about yourself that God has like completely rewritten for you? I'm not worthy of things and then I can't do things.

What God Has Rewritten

Like I know that's like a common thing to tell yourself, I can do hard things. Well, yes, I can do hard things. Yeah. So, is that something that you genuinely believe now? Yeah, I think I can do anything.

I mean, at this point, you know, I have stood up and and talked in front of some women. And I think that was the biggest hurdle for me is talking in front of people. And now that I've seen like, did I do it perfect? Did it go flawlessly? No way.

I mean, my sheets were blowing off the stand as I'm reading it. But I feel like I've passed a hurdle. Yeah. And so now I'm more comfortable with giving my Yes. Because I know that I am capable because it's it's not going to be me anyways, right? It's going to be him. Yeah.

And as long as it's him and people are getting something from him, then I don't matter. Mhm. I hate to say that better, but you know what I mean. I know. Yeah. Well, something important to understand is what God actually does say in 2 Corinthians 5:17.

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. 1 Peter 2:9 says, "You are a chosen people." Ephesians 2:10 says, "We are his workmanship." I think that's a very interesting one. Yeah. Yeah.

We want to retain these verses to remind ourselves that God has already spoken over us because we are his people. He's already given us our identity in him. He's already told us what we are. He already told us that he knew us before he formed us in the womb.

Like we he has given us our blueprint of who we need to be and who we need to believe we are. We need to work on not only seeing others like Jesus, but seeing ourself like Jesus. Like no matter what we've been through, no matter what we've done, we are his children.

And he loves us because you're going to love your children no matter what. Like, could they mess up? Yes. But they're always going to be beautiful in your eyes because they are yours. They are a piece of you and we are a piece of him. Yeah.

The Challenge

And I just think we need to remember that. So I want to pose a challenge. What have I been believing about myself that God has never actually said? Something to think about. I know it's hard to have quiet time. I've really been working on that lately. Just go sit in your closet.

Go sit somewhere and just ponder on that. Like pray about it. Ask him to give you that answer. Like it could be in a crazy dream. Like who knows? But ask the Lord. Pray Lord expose every lie I've agreed with and teach me to see myself the way that you see me. Thanks, Rob.

Closing Prayer

Break that mold. You can do it. You can get through it and move past it. We'll see you next time. Bye, guys. Lord, we want to thank you for this time. We want to thank you for being in this moment.

For anyone listening who thinks that they are unworthy, that they are not enough, that they do not have what it takes. Show them differently. Help them to see themselves like you see them to break that mold wide open because you never created that mold in the first place.

It is a lie from the enemy. take away any thoughts of deception and replace them with truth. Lord, I pray for those listening, God, just help to elevate them. Help them to calm their minds and just be with you. Let them hear your voice.

Speak to them, calm them, give them strength. Lord, just walk with them in this week. and we are so thankful for you in this podcast in Jesus name. Amen. Before you go, if this episode spoke to you in any way, would you do us a favor? Share it with a friend who might need it too.

You never know who's walking through something quietly. And don't forget to follow, like, and subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next because we've got more real conversations, more honest moments, and probably a few more burnt toe stories along the way.

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We'll see you next time.